Loneliness is hard, when you’re a parent it’s really tough, you don’t want them to be lonely too. You want them to socialise with other children but there is nobody there for them to socialise with.
Making friends can be so difficult, I’m very socially awkward and struggle in social situations. I either come across too much or I’m too quiet. I always seem to end up making friends with people who are happy to use, abuse and hurt you. I like to please people and I think that’s where I go wrong, they don’t actually care about me or about my feelings.
I guess that’s why I struggle to form friendships because I don’t want to get hurt, I don’t want to let someone in so they can let me down and being a parent makes that more difficult because it then involves Nova too! She doesn’t deserve to have people in her life who are happy to treat them like their own and then just drop them suddenly without a single thought.
I hope I can teach Nova to find decent and respectable friends, ones who wouldn’t want to hurt her or make her feel like an awful person. One that actually considers their words and actions before hand. One that is actually kind and considerate to her emotions.
I want to teach Nova so much so that she can avoid some of the horrible situations I have been in, I never want her to go through some of the stuff I’ve had to. I truly believe in the saying ‘hurt people hurt people’ and sometimes people don’t know how to treat someone because all they’ve known is being treated poorly. It’s a shame but it shouldn’t make you a nasty person but sadly sometimes it does.
But on another note I do have some amazing friends, my best friend recently had an engagement party which I thoroughly enjoyed and it was nice to let my hair down and see some old friends. It felt like old times and is if I hadn’t been away from them. I also went to a breastfeeding group and it was nice to meet like minded people and just socialise. I was super nervous about attending both events beforehand but it done me the world of good getting out of my comfort zone and I truly had the best time. It was good for me. I just hope Nova takes after Billy on the confidence front!