advice · honest mum · motherhood · mumlife · parent · poems

Don’t be sad, you’ll be alright.

๐˜‹๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ’๐˜ต ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜ฅ, ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ’๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต,
๐˜ž๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜บ๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ฌ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต,
๐˜ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ’๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜บ๐˜ด ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต ๐˜ค๐˜ถ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฅ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ,
๐˜ˆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ข ๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ด ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ,
๐˜ž๐˜ฆ’๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ‘๐˜ ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ’ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ณ,
๐˜ˆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜บ ๐˜ค๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ’๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ณ,
๐˜ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ’๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜บ ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ,
๐˜‰๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ค๐˜ณ๐˜บ ๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ด ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ ๐˜ธ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ,
๐˜ž๐˜ฆ’๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜บ๐˜ด ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ,
๐˜›๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ฑ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ด๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฑ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜จ๐˜ฉ,
๐˜‘๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜บ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ต๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฆ๐˜บ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด,
๐˜ˆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ณ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ญ๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ฃ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ด.
๐˜‹๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ’๐˜ต ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ข๐˜ฅ, ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ’๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต,
๐˜‰๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ’๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜บ๐˜ด ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ, ๐˜ฅ๐˜ข๐˜บ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต.

I watched a TikTok video earlier that actually made me really sad. A mum had recorded herself giving her daughter a cuddle, she had explained that she was due to head out with friends but chose not to as her daughter struggled to settle with her partner. Her friends were super accepting of that and she was relishing those snuggles.

Someone had commented underneath:

Beautiful baby but ur making a rod for ur own back not letting her learn to settle without you.

Honestly, this upsets me so much, why is attending to your childs needs making a rod for your own back? Why is doing what is biologically normal seen as the wrong thing to do? Why is being nurturing to the child you chose to have, the one you carried for almost 10 months seen as the thing you shouldn’t be doing?! I will never understand it! Yes it is exhausting when Nova wakes multiple times throughout the night, but she needs me. She is a child. She doesn’t understand why nobody is coming to show her affection. She doesn’t understand that i’m exhausted and so desperately need sleep. She wants me. She wants love, kindness, understanding. It’s not wrong to want to settle your child. It’s completely normal!

She then went on to say that it will cause attachment issues when they go to school. That is such a closed minded view. Nova was in lockdown stuck with me for a lot of the time, I respond to her every need, she is unbelievably confident, she bossed her first day at nursery and never has an issue with me leaving her ever!

So please if you are ever told you are making a rod for your own back by attending to your childs needs, just ignore it. You are doing amazing. You are doing what is natural. You are doing what you are supposed to. Your child will not have attachment issues. Your child will know they are loved more than anything!

Emily โ™ฅ

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